do we have to...?

do we absolutely have to know everything NOW?...in whatever unintelligible incoherent idiotic way it is being presented. do we have to thrust cameras n microphones into bleeding faces or tired exhausted souls? can't we stand back for just one time and acknowledge just once that the other is human with feelings and has a right to privacy? what is it about having a camera, being "press" that gives me the supercilious belief that i can commit this violation for the greater common good? and do we have to scream...and scream louder than the others like in a fish market auction...look i've got a better bigger catch...exclusive!

is this what we are to leave as textbooks for the next generation? to excel burkha dutt's faux pas'? as someone who's been teaching wannabe mediapersons, i share the blame...and take it as a new challenge...there's so many lessons to be learnt from the last 3days in bombay...can i be part of the healing? and how?

do you believe in india?

do you believe in the idea of india? of the unity in diversity, of religious tolerance, of freedom, democracy, plurality, of whatever else it is that you hold dear about india...stand up n be counted...enough is enough! such a complete failure by the state to protect it's people...utter disarray n chaos i have never seen. the guardians should be hanging their heads in shame...no, not the nsg, armed forces, etc but our super-pampered thick skinned shameless politicians. off with that wimp home minister, off with the cm... if there has been an intelligence failure, it is only because we've alienated the community so much that we've killed the very sources who'd tip us off otherwise...did we have to lose our 3 top guys in less than 30mins?

after spending most of last night trying to make sense of the unfolding mayhem n pacifying anxious relatives across the globe,..by the morning anger had seeped in...i felt so angry that it took them over 9hrs to send the nsg in n that too after day break and even as i write, almost 20hrs later they are no where near securing the 3 locations under attack.
i took the train down to vt this morning to donate blood at st george hospital...in a desperate attempt to "do something positive". the trains were up n running...empty. the otherwise bustling churchgate station deserted...i walk gaping around the silence as if in some funk...reality hits home at the hospital gates. army, police, ambulance sirens, blackboard list of the dead, worried-sick relatives...more dead bodies being brought in...stoically i join the long line to donate...there must've been another 60 of us. dentistry students volunteering thru the night...my pouch filled, i walk back down thru the hospital thru the ground floor open morgue...more cops, more tourists, more worried relatives...still more bodies coming in.

i step out into the glare n heat...into a city barren at noon. walk across to vt station...become one of the "terror tourists" - everyone pointing for the newly arrived, " there, see that bullet mark on the wall...and over there on the column, n there up shattering that glass, n there the broken indicator."...struggling hard to keep the numbing feeling growing...i began to speak to some railway protection force jawans...pathetic n heart-rending...this guy had lost 3 of his colleagues in last night's gun-shower. all he had was a fibreglass lathi. even if they carry a gun/rifle, he informs me, they are not allowed to carry ammo. if they do carry ammo, they are instructed - one bullet, one man dead wanted! better not to carry a gun, sir, he trails off...

i hurry out n hail a cab to the taj...my heart's been bleeding seeing those images of the top floor of the old taj burn. i mean, it's not about being the most expensive suites in the country, it's our heritage, history being burned. those suites played host to the biggest and the best...heads of state, jazz greats, hollywood stars, fashion czars, sportspersons...you name em all. by the time i go there, most of the top floor was ash...smoke still billowing out...my heart just crumbled. more anger...more desperation...did someone ask, what next - "secular terrorism"? am seriously considering it...

kps gill must go!

there's no two ways about it...guys let's start a kps gill hatao campaign from the ihf, if we have to recover from the absolutely pathetic news that we didn't qualify for the olympics in hockey for the first time in 80years!! i'm so sad n so angry. for all the upper that srk's chak de was, however momentary n filmy, this downer is for real n will take a long time re-hauling. it makes me even more ill when i think of the money cricket continues to attract...on the other hand, maybe just change our national sport to cricket let our hockey glories be buried deep under our consciousness.