once upon a rice field...

it probably is the proverbial begining of the end...of rice fields i mean... and eventually goa. was there most of this week and was really looking foward to my fav monsoon sight - of lush green rice fields swathing either side of the road. but imagine my horror at seeing long stretches of fresh red mud dumped in line in a way to block the natural flow of water!...which will eventually render them uncultivatable.

i mean, now just how profitable is it really to grow rice, when you could get real rich real quick by selling it to the land sharks?! caranzalem already looks like bombay with all its horrors. and to hasten the mushrooming, sahara has bought several thousand acres (all rice fields needles to say) of whatever is left of taleigaon!

sad, upset, angry...

i guess we'll grow up to pop some synthesized pill which would give us all the malt, sugar, milk n cocoa n more we need...burp! yuk!!

footboobs n swollen eyes!

o those brazilians!...i mean, now who on earth would've conjured this up?? this was in porto allegre a year n half ago...right there in the middle of a maidan, dwarfing us lesser mortals as we collectively attempted making another world possible ;)

this image came to mind late last night as brazil beat croatia sending those bronzed bombshells into a frenzy. not that they played too well, rather disappointing in their finishing. in fact, wished croatia had put in a couple at least to test those bloody self-assured brazilians. tho' the referee it was, who provided the action. the numbskull russian flashed yellow cards like there was no tomorrow!

france was worse! the most lacklustre (for want of a better word) performance yet since the cup began... thiery played like he didn't really want to score and zidane, a fast fading shadow.

read with much amusement this article about football widows...thought about what a lot of women must be going off to sleep...alone...for a whole month! poor things! don't know what they're missing!! ouch, my eyes hurt as i write this...all red n swollen n bleary!

mum's 70th!

june 1959 was tumultuous...mum had just got her BEd results...she had passed! and, as if to celebrate, she announces to her parents that she's going to marry joe - capping a 6year courtship despite severe objections from her parents. that he was 12 years older...that he wasn't a brahmin...and that he was an alcoholic!

all this and more, i am getting to know, as i plod my weary way trying to piece together his life story on videotape...

some old friends i spoke with recalled how marie stood by joe through all the objections and adversities and how they really loved each other. she was 23 and he 35 when they married in bombay on june 8th - her birthday. her older sister - anne gave me this fabulous photograph late last year along with a whole bunch...my mum, she had burnt the old b/w family album some time after my dad had died...

through the fish-eyed lens of tear stained eyes
i can barely define the shape of this moment in time
far from flying high in clear blue skies
i come spiralling down
to the hole in the ground where i hide.

memories n tears welled aplenty day before night, as old friends and family gathered to toast mum on her 70th birthday...and to celebrate her joys having overcome half her life without dad. her oldest friend - aunty celine set the mood early that evening...it had been 49 (!) years of knowing mum and "her ups and downs". as elegant as ever, she raised the toast as mum's face went from pensive to ecstatic. anil's recollection of mum's resolve to ensure that there'd always be jam n butter at the table, brought several lumps to several throats.

and me? i didn't talk...nor shoot...felt miserable about being so hopelessly stuck. just watched what sudheer had shot that evening...simply wonderful... am glad i didn't shoot... dying maybe i...if not already dead!

the balcony at silver valley

luckily for me, these guys were on my side...i smiled with them heaving a huge sigh of relief. inside, mum stay put, not yeilding...isolated...filling our compact lil studio apartment with uneasy silence and gloom. how could i want to marry a "non-catholic"? how could i, her most-understanding son, betray her??

the balcony opened out more than just my head those long dark n sullen nights...

the moody blues got it right!

Breathe deep the gathering gloom

Watch lights fade from every room

Bedsitter people look back and lament

Another day's useless energy spent.

Impassioned lovers wrestle as one,

Lonely man cries for love and has none.

New mother picks up and suckles her son,

Senior citizens wish they were young.

Cold hearted orb that rules the night,

Removes the colors from our sight.

Red is grey and yellow white,

But we decide which is right.

And which is an illusion?

the calm before...(remains of a clan)

on the far left - mama noronha, then my older brother - jimmy, then the best sister in the whole world - mira aka baby and next my other brother - anil...several monsoons ago, i broke it to them that i was going to be marrying sarada. my mom dug in her heels in the red corner, very upset n sulking...the tension peaking and i go click!

some stray thoughts on a saturday morn

...like...what an amazingly huge turnout for madhushree's magnum opus film on bombay last evening! yb chavan packed, even the balcony...and then to top it all, shyam shroff publicly announces that yes he is going to distribute the film!! applause!...so we party-ed even harder after that!

watching it for the second time, i enjoyed the film more. by now, i had read about manto and ismat chugtai's association with the city and therefore could access those portions of the film better. the ernormity of the canvas overwhelms...works in parts...remains fragmented. had to fight with my own need of unity and conclusion. the more i see a 4:3 image the stronger my resolve to go widescreen the next shoot i do.

...like...meenaka is back home after a successful surgery. the docs did one of those small aperture operations via cam. so smaller the opening faster the healing. which is good! relief all around. but it'll be sometime before she gets back on her feet and even longer till she comes to visit us again here in bombay...but i'll be waiting!

...like...how warped these tv news channels are... white powder suspected to be cocaine flushed down with champagne by the mahajan kin was all breaking news on all the channels ALL day! so what if bombay went down underwater with the first burst of monsoons...tamely toeing the govt line, they were. none pegging responsibilty, no one demanding action...on whose side are they? whom do we have?

...like...jabeen's wonderful tribute(in time out) to renu saluja - the now legendary film editor. she should write more often! go read it!

...like...delhi-bom being a local call... at 1buck20 for 3mins!! incredible! someone somewhere is stirring up a quiet revolution...murasoli maran - good man! couldn't have come at a better time for me. i've been calling delhi like 10 times a day!! hmm ok 5!

...like...finally got a couple of calls for some work. let's see...been home stuffing my fat face fearing i'll get fatter n more unfit...will spare you with more ;)