...here i am sitting in the control room of kbc ...for the last time today...have been with it since the very first episode in april 2000!...it kind of defined a certain trajectory in my life...of combining multi-cam television work with docu n teaching. giving me enough to pursue my heart...something i stumbled upon (as opposed to some preconceived goal) early in life and have enjoyed the flexibility and freedom it offered...
my first film happened only coz of kbc...where i'd shoot, get money, go down to goa, shoot, finish my money, come back to bombay, shoot some more, go back, come log tapes in between two episodes...figured it was a good way to be!...
so many years and so much multi-cam work later, i find i've become lazier, can't hold a thought, hate the way i shoot, thinking dulled, responses slow, n generally quieter...it was something friends warned me about but i persevered...on my own terms, doing only the kind of shows i wanted...
discovered that as dop, one does less n less "creative" work n need to do more n more pr, hr n of course be responsible for a team of 6-8 operative cameramen. it is the one thing i hate - negotiating rates, ensuring timely payments, taking flak but it also strengthened me as a person...made me a hard nut esp when dealing with haraami production types.
but it always feels good to sit down with the boys, like last night, downing a beer over fried fish...telling stories, bitching, ranting, pulling leg...i don't think i want to do more of this tho'...wanna bow out with with koffee...
feels like i have achieved what i wanted out of this...a nice home of our own here in bombay, a patch of land in goa with the dream taking shape there of a media centre for kids, time now to finish my film on my dad...and get on with life beyond the air-conditioned comfort of a studio...n onto anouk!
tho i wish i had done more docu work, wish i had worked on film, wished i had assisted one of my gods, wished i had gone back to school...i feel more than ever before that i am ready to work on a 35mm feature film. not ads, no...
television has changed dramatically since june1994 when i begun...with tv18...from being fiercely independent of chanels to be completely subservient...from bar-raising production values to the lowest common denominator...not very different from what we saw in the print media...it is all about dulling your responses...about beating your resistances down...slowly...about compromising...but then i AM good ol wishy washy charlie brown!!
don't particularly know where this post is going or how much sense it is making...but i think i'm sounding like some ol fart!
i've been on a couple of occassions, asked to write a "how-to" book on multi-cam tv production!!! i think one of these days i'll at least post the light n camera lowdown on kbc...we end the schedule with a huuge party on the set tonight...to celebrate srk, to say bye to sameer...then, i will quietly... unknownst to the rest say my goodbye to studio number 7...which became daftar for the last 7 years...
1 comment:
lovely post ajay.
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